Who are you and what have you done with my friend Ginny?
This is the response I’ve heard the most since telling the world I was pregnant…which makes sense. I’ve never liked babies. I think they are sticky, ugly and gross. Emphasis on gross. I tend to run away when too many toddlers congregate. I won’t hold my friends’ babies. I’m not trying to be an asshole, I just don’t like babies and toddlers stress me out. Yet here I find myself… soon to be elbow deep in poopie diapers. Understandably, most people want to know, what happened?
First off: Yes, we are having a child semi-planned. I only say “semi” because the timing was unexpected and awkward. Quite frankly, we were planing around ski season and had pretty much given up on trying this year. I had just bought a new motorcycle. We planned a vacation to Europe. I was plotting another overseas adventure next fall. I started a new training program. We had moved on from trying. As a result, I was more than a little shocked when I found out I was pregnant! But the end goal was still to have a kid, even if the timing wasn’t ideal. Which is still a little crazy to anyone who knows me. So why?
I can’t speak for Brian’s reasons. For me, the short story is… it’s complicated. I turned 36 this year, I’m coming off a major cross-country move and re-ordering of my life. My career has changed. We bought a new house. I’ve got change coming out my ears. With all the chaos, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and re-evaluating my life priorities. What legacy am I leaving this world? All I’ve ever really wanted to do is be a positive force in the lives of others. I did my best to be an inspiring teammate and push those around me to achieve more in athletics. I tried to make a positive impact in the day-to-day lives of those who visited and worked in my retail shops. I want to introduce women to the outdoors and teach them confidence. I want to lift others up and see them succeed. I want to touch people’s lives. I want to leave the world a better place than I found it. When I die, will I have created a lasting impact?
I’m honestly not sure that a kid will help me do these things, but I feel like it gives me the chance to leave a positive legacy. I hope Brian and I can raise a little ripper who shares our values, our thirst for adventure and the will to create positive change in the world. Of course being a parent is terrifying and challenging and I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m sure I’ll just be happy if my kid turns out semi-normal. But hopefully we will have passed on the best pieces of ourselves.
My sister had a cancer scare and surgery when she was the age that I am now and the women in my family have a history of reproductive issues. That put things into perspective for me. My time is limited to do this thing, which pushed us into action. We feel like we are settled down, for now, so it was just time to take the plunge. Summit County will be an amazing place to raise a kick-ass kid.
I still don’t like babies. I’m scared I’ll have no idea what to do with a kid. But I’ll jump in the deep end, knowing that I’ll figure it out and that they grow up some day! This is going to be a big life change, but hopefully it will be an awesome experience. For now, Brian and I are ready to go do some epic shit, baby in tow!